One Month Anniversary and Our New Life at Home!

                                One month ago a little girl was placed in our arms in China.

I am happy to say that Abigail is doing really well for all that she has been through this past month.
We are getting to see her personality a little more each day.  She is your usual 2 1/2 year old who gets into everything.  We have been busy putting baby locks on everything and gates up everywhere  in order to keep her safe.  She keeps us very busy and we are really enjoying see things through her eyes now.

As we settle into our new life at home, we are thinking a lot about the people around us and how much our lives have changed.  Family has always been important to us. We are so fortunate to have such loving, involved family and friends. We appreciate the support and excitement that you have all shown to us as we have made this journey. We're thrilled that Abigail is now home! We've done a lot of reading, research and asked a lot of other adoptive parents about how to best help Abigail these first few months at home.

There are some things about adoptive parenting that are the same as parenting a biological child. There are also quite a few areas that we have learned are different. Through our adoption agency,  books, and other adoptive parents, we have learned that Abigail really needs a different type of environment and parenting while she is first at home in order to feel safe and secure and to learn how to become a part of our family. 

While we know that every child is different, we also understand that there are many possible things that will impact Abigail's beliefs and behavior at home. These include how much attention she received, if there was abuse or neglect, the amount and quality of food received, illnesses, the quality of care and our child's unique temperament and personality. The result of these things can include behavioral issues, emotional disorders and a sense of grief and loss from being separated from the only home and caregivers our little one has ever known.

 Adoption is a traumatic and scary event for any age child whether they are newborn or 10 years old. They're being removed from all of their routines and familiar surroundings. Even babies will feel grief and sadness at an event like this. In order to help Abigail feel safe and learn that we are her parents, we are creating the type of environment that will help promote security during this stressful time.

Now that Abigail is home at the recommendation of experienced adoption professionals, we are changing our usual routines in order to help her attach to us her family and help her little heart during this transition.  Abigail really needs to learn that we're her parents. She needs to feel nurtured and safe. She is not  used to having parents to love and care for her. 

Here are some things we are doing for Abigail.  We'll be living a very quiet life with limited trips out and few visitors in for a little while. Social workers and psychologists tell us that when children are first adopted, they may be overwhelmed, scared, and nervous. By keeping our lives very boring at first, we'll be helping our child feel safe. This does NOT mean that we do not want visitors coming to see our little one for the first time. We will just have to limit it a little so it is not overwhelming.

As strange as it may seem, adopted children who act very outgoing and affectionate with strangers is not a healthy thing. It is called "indiscriminate affection" and can mean that they haven't really attached to anyone. 

For sure it is going to be a weird and wonderful experience for us. Things are just a little different when you are adopting a child rather than having a biological child. She will be adapting to a lot of new things . . . new parents, new family, new home, new foods, new time zone (totally opposite what she's used to). That's a lot to swallow at one time. 

We want you to know that we see this time as a gift to us and are thrilled to have the opportunity to pour into Abigail.  We are so thankful that my Mom lives so close to us now as she is a huge help in getting the older 3 to their activites.  We are looking forward to spring and warmer weather and being out and about in our new normal as a family of 6!

A Letter to Abigail--Summer of 2015

A letter to our daughter Abigail as she waits for us in China.

 To our Dearest Abigail,

 The summer of 2015 was a summer like we had never seen before.

 

 Where do I even begin to sum up all that happened in your home and in our hearts these past  couple of months?

If I had to give this summer a title it would definitely be;    

 

                                                       The Summer of Waiting....

 We were waiting for the final approval from China to adopt you.  I can not even begin to describe how painful that wait was.  

 But, God was right there teaching your Mom many things about waiting and giving complete control over to Him.  

                            You see God is so good!  He won't leave you the way you are.  

                                          He wants to come in and complete you! 

                         He wants to heal you and give you that peace that your heart longs for.

             Here is the verse God gave me during this time of waiting.  When you get home you will see that verse on our counter in our kitchen.

Well on August 19th we received the email that told us we had that final approval to adopt YOU!

                                                               Simply Beautiful!

 Now, I have to tell you how God orchestrated your extended family and friends to bless us beyond what we could have imagined. 

One day a friend of mine took me aside and shared that their family really wanted to help us bring you home.  She shared that she and her husband had gone to a certain organization on our behalf and shared our story about adopting you and our story about the flood that hit your home this past summer.

 About the flood... Everything is OK with your home now.  But, we had to walk through some pretty scary days BUT, you know what God was right there too!  Your family was protected and it was only "stuff" that we lost.  

God has promised to redeem all that pain and we are already seeing where He is working it out for our good. 

                                                    Now, back to the story!  

This friend of Mommy's told her she and her husband went before this organization on our behalf and asked them to help us out financially.  And Guess What!!  They absolutely AMAZED us with what they gave us!!  

You see Abigail we serve a God that fights for us!  We had ABSOLUTELY no idea this was being done and all of this was put together during the painful  weeks we were recovering from the flood. 

 We didn't know what God was putting together BEHIND the scenes.  You see He really likes to work that way, Behind the Scenes.

                                        Here are some more ways friends and family

                                                    blessed us this past summer!!

• Friends and Family stood by us and helped restore our home and our spirits after the flood.
• I opened a bag that was given to us for our garage sale and inside it was the exact baby carrier I wanted to bring to China to carry you around in!!  It was from a good friend of your Mom's and she said keep it and use it!!  I can't wait to use it with you in China!!
• A friend of mine in our co op just "happens" to have a daughter about your size and we are going to try out that carrier and make sure it is going to work for you!
• I was telling the friend who gave us the carrier that I needed a car seat next.  She said what are you looking for?  I said well, if I had it my way I would get the really nice Britax car seat but I really can't spend that much right now with all that we need for the adoption.  Do you know what she SAID!!  She said we have an extra one we don't need, You can just have it!!!  So, now you have an AWESOME car seat in our car just waiting for you!
• We had another family that we are friends with and they gave us a jar with all the money the kids had saved up from their chores and they wanted us to have it to help bring you home!!
• Friends from all over the country have either donated or bought soaps or T-shirts to help us pay for our trip to China to get you!

So, with all that being said we are just about HALF way to paying completely for our trip to come and get you in China!!  $18,500!!

      We should know in just a few weeks the exact date that we will be in China to get you!!!!!

Since this blog is shared with a lot of your family's friends and family we wanted to fill them in on what needs remain and where help is still needed.

Our biggest expense now is travel to China and living in China for 2 weeks.  We need to purchase the international plane tickets and then we have several in country flights.  We need to go to the province in China where Abigail is originally from and then fly down to the bottom of China for the US embassy.  

Our adoption agency has all the hotels picked out so we remain safe and close to all the government offices we need to complete ALL the paperwork to make it officially official!!

We have prayed and asked God to fully fund this adoption!  We are praying that within days or weeks of our traveling that we will be able to say we are FULLY funded.

If you would like to help us out there are a few ways you can do so:

• Donate airline or hotel points to us.  We can use them to pay for these pretty expensive tickets to China.  Email me if you could help us in this way.  Lymapeters@gmail.com
• Support our fundraising campaigns by visiting www.petersadoption.com.  

                      1.  We have coffee available. I am pretty picky about coffee

                            and this is good coffee.
                      2.  We also have some goat milk soap left.  This is AWESOME soap 

                           made here in Indiana!
                      3.  T-Shirts!  We really struggled to pick a good design and

                            we finally all agreed on this one.  

                 Well Abigail, this was a brief look at the summer of 2015 here in your home.  

We can not tell you how much we want to come and get you right now!!  We are so close!!  

Our next letter to you should have the date we are coming to get you!!!  We will show you pictures of your bed and everything that is waiting for you!!

We Love you more than words can say and our hearts just ache to hold you and hug you,

Love Forever and Always,

Your Mommy

A note to tell about all the LOVE we saw for you today!

My Dearest Abigail,  

I had to sit down and write you a quick note to tell you some really special things that happened today.

We just finished up our biggest fundraising to date for our trip to China to bring you home.
I wish you could have been here to see it.  You would have seen how many people love you already and not just your family!

First, we received a lot of donations from friends and family.  We mentioned our garage sale to just a few people and donations just started coming in.  Friends gave beautiful brand new items to us without giving it a second thought.  We had people bring us things and we spent a day driving around  picking things up that people wanted us to have.

We worked for days getting this ready-- probably more like weeks.  This was good for your mom though because it kept my mind busy.  I was able to go about an hour or so without checking my phone for some sort of news on movement in our paperwork to bring you home.  We are still waiting to be Logged Into China's system, but it will come, God's got this!

The days leading up to the sale your brothers and sister were busy cleaning and pricing things.  They wanted to do this because they knew this would bring us one step closer to bring you home.

Friday before the sale friends showed up to help bake cupcakes with your sister.  Your sister loves to bake but she needed some help with making 6 dozen.  They baked all morning and then all afternoon and early evening they priced things and folded a LOT of clothes!

Guess what?!  Friday night someone pulled into our driveway and handed your mom a few boxes of books to sell at the sale today!  I didn't even know her but she is a part of our larger home school group and she saw my announcement about the garage sale and wanted to give.  Did I mention I didn't even know her?

Saturday morning we were up at 5:30 am getting things ready again.  Your dad went around the area hanging beautiful signs that your grandmother made directing everyone to our sale.  Your brothers and sister got up and started setting up tables and placing  items all over our driveway and garage.

I wanted to take a picture before it started but people started showing up at 7:30am even though it wasn't supposed to start until 9am!  That's ok because each dollar we received put us a step closer to those flights we need to take to bring you home to your family!

Friends of Mommy's showed up around 7:30 too and started working again even though they had just left the night before.

Saturday morning we set up a tent and your youngest brother and a friend sat under that tent from
8 am until 2 pm selling cupcakes, water, lemonade, sodas and Goat Milk Soap!  They were absolutely incredible!  They sold their hearts out!  Every person that came up our driveway was told about the soaps and the cupcakes that were for sale to help bring you home!  And do you know what!  The two of them made close to $200 alone on their little stand!!  All because we Love you and want you to come home as soon as you can!

Today your Mom saw such beauty and love in action that I had to sit down and tell you about it.
Random strangers at our sale today bought $1 cupcakes, paid with a large bill and wanted no change.

Friends donated items above and beyond what we hoped for.  Other friends came and shopped and some handed us extra money just because they want you to come home soon.  Friends worked in really hot and humid temperatures selling as much as they could.
Most importantly people prayed.  They prayed God would bring the people and that they would be blessed with great stuff and be blessed to know they helped your family out!

God showed up today Abigail in a very tangible way!   Jesus was seen in every word spoken and every action done today.  I want you to know that you are dearly loved and desperately wanted to be home with your family.  I can't tell you how many people said, "I can't wait to meet her!!"

Well, that is how this very special day went today Abigail.  In regards to how much longer until we can fly over and pick you up, well we are working hard on that!  We have more waiting on paperwork for your adoption but we are asking a LOT of people to pray that mountains will be moved and you will be home soon.


I Love You so much Abigail,
Love,
Your Mommy

Abigail's story--How God placed adoption on our hearts and How we could use your help

In January we announced that we are adopting a little girl from China.

We have been amazed at how quickly God is putting the details together to bring our Abigail home.  We are now just a few papers away from submitting our dossier to China which is a really BIG step in the adoption process.  The dossier consists of numerous papers about our family. It contains everything from medical forms, financial statements, the home study, birth certificates and references, to many, many more papers that verify the fact that we are capable of bringing another child into our family.


 This is the part of the journey where we really need the help of family and friends.  I will be completely honest with you here; This is the part I have struggled with.  I did not want to ask for help.  However, God began speaking to my heart through a trusted friend.  During one of my conversations with her I told her about my reluctance to ask for help and she very matter-of-factly told me,

                                 "Oh please ask for help.
      Please allow your friends to step in and become a part of
                                         Abigail's story."

So, here is where we could really use some help.  We need to pay a lot of fees in order to send our dossier to China.  We have put about $6000 in already and could use some help with the next $8000 we need to send our paper work on.  Abigail's adoption will end up costing us well over $35,000.

If you would like to donate to Abigail's adoption you will see on the top right hand corner of my blog a button that you can click and it will take you directly to place where you can donate.  The top button comes directly to us and the button below it takes you to a site where you can receive a tax deductible receipt for your donation. The difference for us between the two is that we will receive the money quicker through the top button but the bottom button offers you the donor a tax deductible receipt and we will receive it in 6-8 weeks.

Many of you have already become a part of Abigail's story through prayers, finances and emotional support and we are very grateful for all of you.

Now, I wanted to share with you how God starting putting the pieces of Abigail's story together well before she was even born.
                         
First thing is, this is not our story but rather God's story and how He asked us to be a part of it.
It is so hard to put into words the depth of emotions we have walked through over the past couple of years, but I will lift the curtain a little and let you in on what has been going on in our lives.

About 3 years before we moved to Indiana (@2008) our oldest son revealed to us that he had been struggling with headaches for years.  We were stunned by this news and thus began our search for answers to bring him relief.  We saw doctors, performed numerous tests, and met with neurosurgeons only for them to come to the conclusion that they found nothing wrong with him.

 With no answers from the established medical community; we were left  with  a child that was still struggling and in some sort of pain everyday.  We truly felt helpless.   But then God arranged for us to meet several people along our way that helped us with diet, therapies  and eventually introduced us to the world of sensory processing disorder where we found most of our answers.

As we walked through our son's struggles our eyes were opened to how much children need their parents.  Children need a voice.  They need someone that will step into the messy areas of their lives and never give up (although I know I did give up on several occasions but God always sent someone to pull me back up).

Today our son is doing very well.  He still struggles in areas but through God's grace and mercy he is a completely different kid than he was in 2008.  He is more settled and peaceful and the degree of struggles he encounters on a daily basis has significantly diminished.

As our time in therapy was coming to a close God began placing a new desire in our hearts.

       He clearly asked us if we would be willing to help other children.

   Would we be willing to step into another child's life that desperately  needed love and protection?

About a year and a half ago God led us to a conference here in Louisville that was on helping children that come from difficult places.
We were invited by 3 different people one of which was our occupational therapist who "just happened" to be a speaker at the conference. (Also, our therapist "just happened to be starting an orphanage in Europe.")

When the main speaker began speaking and describing the children she worked with both my husband and I sat there stunned.  She was describing about 90% of what we had walked through with our son over the past 5+ years.  We sat there speechless.

When the speaker ended her session I remember walking over to our occupational therapist, who was behind her display table, and I just started crying.  She turned toward me and  gave me a hug and said;
               "This is why I wanted you to come.  You needed to hear this.
                                             You needed to be here."

                                    God understood where we had been.
                                    He wanted us to know that He cared
                                                        and
         He wanted us to know that He was putting into motion
                                        the next part of our lives.

     Gently God began planting seeds in our own hearts for adoption.

        We started praying over the many children that needed families.

In November of 2014 God laid on my heart to go back and visit a  particular website I had been to many times.  This website featured many children that were looking for families.
As I scanned all of their beautiful faces one little face jumped out to me
 and I clearly heard God say;
                                        
                               "She is yours, will you go and get her?"

I called my husband and our children in one by one and asked if any
                      one of the children jumped out to them and
                              every single one of us picked her!

Ever since we saw her picture we have been actively pursuing her to make her a part of our family.  We are in a major paper chase right now and we have seen the Lord fight for us in many ways we never dreamed possible.  God is weaving our stories together perfectly and we eagerly await the day when we can hold her in our arms.

           

Our BIG Announcement! We are Adopting!

                                   This post has been waiting for over 365 days to be written.

                                                        We have a BIG announcement!

                                                 We are adopting a little girl from China!!

         

      Abigail

            So, how do I put into words all that we have been through this past year

 in getting our hearts ready to adopt.

 How do I put into words all of the emotions and questions we have walked through to get to this decision.

How do I share what God has been doing in our hearts?

  I am not sure how to put it all into words.

 I have been sitting here in my office thinking of the right words to allow you a glimpse into our hearts and minds.  

 The words to convey my heart to you escape me right now but we wanted to share the picture of our daughter that is waiting for us in China.

  We are overwhelmed that God would open up this door to us.

I will share much more about how our family was led to adoption and how God led us to this little one and asked us if we would be a part of His Great plan for her.

We have many more steps in this adoption process.  

        We have been through a Home Study and we have received PA which is Pre Approval from China to proceed with the adoption process.  

We have been waiting 20 long days for this Pre Approval and now that we have it we can officially share her picture!

For right now we are all thrilled to announce that we are adopting a little girl from China!

Love,

Lysa, Mark, Katie, Craig, Jonathan and Abigail

894 Days Later

                                                              
                                                               God is Faithful.

The past 894 days have clearly demonstrated to my family and I that God is Faithful.

What started out as an ordinary day in the spring of 2011 became a day that would change the direction of our family in a very big way.  God decided it was time to move our family. He orchestrated that move by allowing my husbands job to be dissolved in Delaware.

 We had a feeling  the Lord was getting ready to change the direction of our family and that a BIG move was coming our way.
                         
                             God  knew what we needed to make Him a priority in our lives.

 

 

That BIG move arrived on a cold gray day in January 2012. 

A tractor trailer pulled into our small cul de sac

that morning demanding everything and everyone stop in its presence. 

 

 That truck invaded many lives that day.

 

Boxes.  Packing.

 

Life just feels vulnerable as you watch it all packed up. 

Wedding pictures, books holding lockets of baby hair and baby teeth are all put into a brown box.  What do you mark a box that holds that many memories; Definitely  Fragile.

 

 

 Fragile...

 

That was not the only thing that was fragile.  Three kids saying good bye to their bedrooms, friends and family is enough to drive a Momma right over the edge.

 

 

But God was There.

 

He saw every tear.  He knew our pain.

 

Most importantly He knew how important this move was to our family.  He knew we needed to be taken out of our comfort zone to grow.

 

He knew.  He watched and He cheered us on.

 

 

We arrived in Southern Indiana a few days after closing out our home in Delaware.  The moving truck pulled up in front of our new home and began bringing all those boxes back out.

 

When the truck left--empty-- We all stood in our new home stunned and a little numb. 

A question popped into my mind; "What did we just do?  We know no one here, absolutely no one.

What did we do??"

 

Well, we obeyed what God had laid on our hearts to do.  He prompted us and confirmed it through so many things that this is where He wanted us.  All 5 of us knew we needed to make this move. 

We all had peace.

 

God was here.

 

 

A lot of times when I step out to obey God I silently think everything will come together seamlessly.  Not many struggles.

But...

 The first 6 months in our new home were brutal.

 

But God was there

 Our kids cried many nights and days those first couple of months. 

 I remember telling them over and over again;

 

You can Trust God.  He called us here. 

 

I would then go downstairs to my room and say to myself with tears in my eyes, "We can Trust You God, Right?"  Then I would say again, "We CAN Trust You."

 

  One of the first things I put up on the wall of our new home was this verse;

 

 

This was our new motto.

 

Now here I am 894 days later.  Would I do it all over again?  Was it worth it? 

Was it the right thing for our family?

 

I can say with 100% certainty that this was the right thing to do. 

Our family has grown in ways that I never dreamed possible. 

 

 

Our kids are so much stronger in just about every area of their lives. 

I have grown more in the past 2 1/2 years than I ever have in my life.  God knew I needed to be taken completely out of my comfort zone to get to know Him and His ways. 

God was there.   God is here.

He showed up and proved Himself very Faithful.

 

He has given us great friends, surrounded us with many talented and caring people to help educate our children.  He has given us a great church family and many more things.

 

There are times that I miss our old life.  It is the family and friends I miss most. 

I miss familiarity and being comfortable.

I joke with a lot of people that God burned our box when we moved to Indiana.  We were no longer allowed to live inside the box.

 

One person I really miss is my Mom.  She and I are very close.  When we lived in Delaware we lived very close to each other.  We would see each other several times a week.

 

Well,  as of August 1st my Mom will officially move to southern Indiana,

 to the same street our family lives!!

She will actually be 7 doors down from our home.

Honestly, this is still hard for me to comprehend. 

 

It is beyond what I would have hoped for or imagined.

But God is so Good.

 

Sometimes life is really hard and we cannot see all that God is doing behind the scenes.

God knew exactly what our family needed in order to become who we were truly created to be. 

 

He has incredible plans for our family that I am afraid we would have missed if God had not stepped in and provided exactly what we needed to grow.

Love in Action

I have the opportunity right now to watch a good friend of mine walk through the process of adopting their second daughter from China.  While I have not walked through an adoption myself, God has been whispering in my ear many truths about His love for me as I observe this beautiful process.

I have followed their travels via Facebook  and have checked it many times longing  for any pictures or updates.  I think it should actually be considered Facebook stalking  at this point.  Every picture and post has offered a glimpse into their journey.  I wanted to experience their excitement and wonder as they arrived in China.  I was just waiting for the day they would finally have the opportunity to hold this precious child in their arms. 


The question that churned in my mind was, "How will this tiny one's heart do after the official adoption day?"  Their new daughter has only known the familiar loving faces at her foster home.  She has been loved and well taken care of,  however she lacked one big thing;  A Family. 

A family to belong to. 

I can only imagine all of the many emotions they experienced on the official adoption day.    I know my friend has prayed for this child for many many months, in fact she has had an army of prayer warriors praying her home.


But my question remained; How do you tell a 2 year old that what she is loosing will be replaced with something so much better.  She will now have a family that will love her forever and will have brothers and sisters.  She will never be abandoned again. 

Eventually she will be won over to this family by their strong love for her.  Over time her heart will heal.

As I sat and thought about my friend and the ache in her heart as she watched her new daughter mourn her loss, God began speaking to my heart.  He reinforced to me that this is how He feels when we face things that break our heart.  He takes absolutely no pleasure in our sufferings.  He weeps over our brokenness.  He knows what this world should be, how He created it in the very beginning.

There have been times in my life where God has asked me to relinquish something I have held on to dearly so He could  give me something far better.  I think about those times and how I have sobbed  telling Him how much it hurt to give something up.  I did not understand at the time but He truly did understand. 

I know my friend who is in China right now has a huge heart for orphans and wants to bind up their wounds and find them all loving homes.  I know that her heart is breaking as she watches her daughter grieve.

When we encounter things that bring sorrow or loss to our lives, God's  heart breaks too.  However, just like my friend cannot explain all that is going on to her daughter, God chooses at times not explain everything to us.  He asks us to trust Him.  Trust that everything He does will be for our good.  Trust that He loves us more than we could ever imagine. 

I imagine the first couple of days my friend's daughter may actually push herself away from them.  She will not understand that they are there to offer her a life of love and protection.  She does not understand as of yet  how much they have gone through to get to her.  How much they have prayed over her and how they have longed to be close to her. 

There are times that I push God away as the only emotion I am feeling is pain.   I don't understand what is going on in the background.  I don't take into account how much it cost Him to come and rescue me.  It cost Him the life of His Son.  Many times I overlook this fact.  I take it for granted. 

  I don't see how much He has cheered me on. At times I can miss the messages of love and encouragement that He has sent me through His word or  others.  I am so thankful for this opportunity to slow down and watch my friend walk through this journey called adoption, truly  demonstrating God's love in action.

I am grateful to God that He is opening up my eyes to His wonderful grace and love that surrounds me.