894 Days Later

                                                              
                                                               God is Faithful.

The past 894 days have clearly demonstrated to my family and I that God is Faithful.

What started out as an ordinary day in the spring of 2011 became a day that would change the direction of our family in a very big way.  God decided it was time to move our family. He orchestrated that move by allowing my husbands job to be dissolved in Delaware.

 We had a feeling  the Lord was getting ready to change the direction of our family and that a BIG move was coming our way.
                         
                             God  knew what we needed to make Him a priority in our lives.

 

 

That BIG move arrived on a cold gray day in January 2012. 

A tractor trailer pulled into our small cul de sac

that morning demanding everything and everyone stop in its presence. 

 

 That truck invaded many lives that day.

 

Boxes.  Packing.

 

Life just feels vulnerable as you watch it all packed up. 

Wedding pictures, books holding lockets of baby hair and baby teeth are all put into a brown box.  What do you mark a box that holds that many memories; Definitely  Fragile.

 

 

 Fragile...

 

That was not the only thing that was fragile.  Three kids saying good bye to their bedrooms, friends and family is enough to drive a Momma right over the edge.

 

 

But God was There.

 

He saw every tear.  He knew our pain.

 

Most importantly He knew how important this move was to our family.  He knew we needed to be taken out of our comfort zone to grow.

 

He knew.  He watched and He cheered us on.

 

 

We arrived in Southern Indiana a few days after closing out our home in Delaware.  The moving truck pulled up in front of our new home and began bringing all those boxes back out.

 

When the truck left--empty-- We all stood in our new home stunned and a little numb. 

A question popped into my mind; "What did we just do?  We know no one here, absolutely no one.

What did we do??"

 

Well, we obeyed what God had laid on our hearts to do.  He prompted us and confirmed it through so many things that this is where He wanted us.  All 5 of us knew we needed to make this move. 

We all had peace.

 

God was here.

 

 

A lot of times when I step out to obey God I silently think everything will come together seamlessly.  Not many struggles.

But...

 The first 6 months in our new home were brutal.

 

But God was there

 Our kids cried many nights and days those first couple of months. 

 I remember telling them over and over again;

 

You can Trust God.  He called us here. 

 

I would then go downstairs to my room and say to myself with tears in my eyes, "We can Trust You God, Right?"  Then I would say again, "We CAN Trust You."

 

  One of the first things I put up on the wall of our new home was this verse;

 

 

This was our new motto.

 

Now here I am 894 days later.  Would I do it all over again?  Was it worth it? 

Was it the right thing for our family?

 

I can say with 100% certainty that this was the right thing to do. 

Our family has grown in ways that I never dreamed possible. 

 

 

Our kids are so much stronger in just about every area of their lives. 

I have grown more in the past 2 1/2 years than I ever have in my life.  God knew I needed to be taken completely out of my comfort zone to get to know Him and His ways. 

God was there.   God is here.

He showed up and proved Himself very Faithful.

 

He has given us great friends, surrounded us with many talented and caring people to help educate our children.  He has given us a great church family and many more things.

 

There are times that I miss our old life.  It is the family and friends I miss most. 

I miss familiarity and being comfortable.

I joke with a lot of people that God burned our box when we moved to Indiana.  We were no longer allowed to live inside the box.

 

One person I really miss is my Mom.  She and I are very close.  When we lived in Delaware we lived very close to each other.  We would see each other several times a week.

 

Well,  as of August 1st my Mom will officially move to southern Indiana,

 to the same street our family lives!!

She will actually be 7 doors down from our home.

Honestly, this is still hard for me to comprehend. 

 

It is beyond what I would have hoped for or imagined.

But God is so Good.

 

Sometimes life is really hard and we cannot see all that God is doing behind the scenes.

God knew exactly what our family needed in order to become who we were truly created to be. 

 

He has incredible plans for our family that I am afraid we would have missed if God had not stepped in and provided exactly what we needed to grow.

Love in Action

I have the opportunity right now to watch a good friend of mine walk through the process of adopting their second daughter from China.  While I have not walked through an adoption myself, God has been whispering in my ear many truths about His love for me as I observe this beautiful process.

I have followed their travels via Facebook  and have checked it many times longing  for any pictures or updates.  I think it should actually be considered Facebook stalking  at this point.  Every picture and post has offered a glimpse into their journey.  I wanted to experience their excitement and wonder as they arrived in China.  I was just waiting for the day they would finally have the opportunity to hold this precious child in their arms. 


The question that churned in my mind was, "How will this tiny one's heart do after the official adoption day?"  Their new daughter has only known the familiar loving faces at her foster home.  She has been loved and well taken care of,  however she lacked one big thing;  A Family. 

A family to belong to. 

I can only imagine all of the many emotions they experienced on the official adoption day.    I know my friend has prayed for this child for many many months, in fact she has had an army of prayer warriors praying her home.


But my question remained; How do you tell a 2 year old that what she is loosing will be replaced with something so much better.  She will now have a family that will love her forever and will have brothers and sisters.  She will never be abandoned again. 

Eventually she will be won over to this family by their strong love for her.  Over time her heart will heal.

As I sat and thought about my friend and the ache in her heart as she watched her new daughter mourn her loss, God began speaking to my heart.  He reinforced to me that this is how He feels when we face things that break our heart.  He takes absolutely no pleasure in our sufferings.  He weeps over our brokenness.  He knows what this world should be, how He created it in the very beginning.

There have been times in my life where God has asked me to relinquish something I have held on to dearly so He could  give me something far better.  I think about those times and how I have sobbed  telling Him how much it hurt to give something up.  I did not understand at the time but He truly did understand. 

I know my friend who is in China right now has a huge heart for orphans and wants to bind up their wounds and find them all loving homes.  I know that her heart is breaking as she watches her daughter grieve.

When we encounter things that bring sorrow or loss to our lives, God's  heart breaks too.  However, just like my friend cannot explain all that is going on to her daughter, God chooses at times not explain everything to us.  He asks us to trust Him.  Trust that everything He does will be for our good.  Trust that He loves us more than we could ever imagine. 

I imagine the first couple of days my friend's daughter may actually push herself away from them.  She will not understand that they are there to offer her a life of love and protection.  She does not understand as of yet  how much they have gone through to get to her.  How much they have prayed over her and how they have longed to be close to her. 

There are times that I push God away as the only emotion I am feeling is pain.   I don't understand what is going on in the background.  I don't take into account how much it cost Him to come and rescue me.  It cost Him the life of His Son.  Many times I overlook this fact.  I take it for granted. 

  I don't see how much He has cheered me on. At times I can miss the messages of love and encouragement that He has sent me through His word or  others.  I am so thankful for this opportunity to slow down and watch my friend walk through this journey called adoption, truly  demonstrating God's love in action.

I am grateful to God that He is opening up my eyes to His wonderful grace and love that surrounds me.