I am happy to say that Abigail is doing really well for all that she has been through this past month.
We are getting to see her personality a little more each day. She is your usual 2 1/2 year old who gets into everything. We have been busy putting baby locks on everything and gates up everywhere in order to keep her safe. She keeps us very busy and we are really enjoying see things through her eyes now.
As we settle into our new life at home, we are thinking a lot about the
people around us and how much our lives have changed. Family has always been
important to us. We are so fortunate to have such loving, involved family and friends. We
appreciate the support and excitement that you have all shown to us as we have made this
journey. We're thrilled that Abigail is now home! We've done a lot of reading, research
and asked a lot of other adoptive parents about how to best help Abigail these first few months at home.
There are some things about adoptive parenting that are the same as parenting a biological child. There are also quite a few areas that we have learned are different. Through our adoption agency, books, and other adoptive parents, we have learned that Abigail really needs a different type of environment and parenting while she is first at home in order to feel safe and secure and to learn how to become a part of our family.
There are some things about adoptive parenting that are the same as parenting a biological child. There are also quite a few areas that we have learned are different. Through our adoption agency, books, and other adoptive parents, we have learned that Abigail really needs a different type of environment and parenting while she is first at home in order to feel safe and secure and to learn how to become a part of our family.
While we know that every child is different, we also understand that there are many possible
things that will impact Abigail's beliefs and behavior at home. These include how
much attention she received, if there was abuse or neglect, the amount and quality of food
received, illnesses, the quality of care and our child's unique temperament and personality. The
result of these things can include behavioral issues, emotional disorders and a sense of grief and
loss from being separated from the only home and caregivers our little one has ever known.
Adoption is a traumatic and scary event for any age child whether they are newborn or 10 years old. They're being removed from all of their routines and familiar surroundings. Even babies will feel grief and sadness at an event like this. In order to help Abigail feel safe and learn that we are her parents, we are creating the type of environment that will help promote security during this stressful time.
Now that Abigail is home at the recommendation of experienced adoption professionals, we are changing our usual routines in order to help her attach to us her family and help her little heart during this transition. Abigail really needs to learn that we're her parents. She needs to feel nurtured and safe. She is not used to having parents to love and care for her.
Adoption is a traumatic and scary event for any age child whether they are newborn or 10 years old. They're being removed from all of their routines and familiar surroundings. Even babies will feel grief and sadness at an event like this. In order to help Abigail feel safe and learn that we are her parents, we are creating the type of environment that will help promote security during this stressful time.
Now that Abigail is home at the recommendation of experienced adoption professionals, we are changing our usual routines in order to help her attach to us her family and help her little heart during this transition. Abigail really needs to learn that we're her parents. She needs to feel nurtured and safe. She is not used to having parents to love and care for her.
Here are some things we are doing for Abigail. We'll be living a very quiet life with limited trips out and few visitors in for a
little while. Social workers and psychologists tell us that when children are first adopted, they
may be overwhelmed, scared, and nervous. By keeping our lives very boring at first, we'll be
helping our child feel safe. This does NOT mean that we do not want visitors coming to see our
little one for the first time. We will just have to limit it a little so it is not overwhelming.
As strange as it may seem, adopted children who act very outgoing and affectionate with strangers is not a healthy thing. It is called "indiscriminate affection" and can mean that they haven't really attached to anyone.
For sure it is going to be a weird and wonderful experience for us. Things are just a little different when you are adopting a child rather than having a biological child. She will be adapting to a lot of new things . . . new parents, new family, new home, new foods, new time zone (totally opposite what she's used to). That's a lot to swallow at one time.
We want you to know that we see this time as a gift to us and are thrilled to have the opportunity to pour into Abigail. We are so thankful that my Mom lives so close to us now as she is a huge help in getting the older 3 to their activites. We are looking forward to spring and warmer weather and being out and about in our new normal as a family of 6!
As strange as it may seem, adopted children who act very outgoing and affectionate with strangers is not a healthy thing. It is called "indiscriminate affection" and can mean that they haven't really attached to anyone.
For sure it is going to be a weird and wonderful experience for us. Things are just a little different when you are adopting a child rather than having a biological child. She will be adapting to a lot of new things . . . new parents, new family, new home, new foods, new time zone (totally opposite what she's used to). That's a lot to swallow at one time.
We want you to know that we see this time as a gift to us and are thrilled to have the opportunity to pour into Abigail. We are so thankful that my Mom lives so close to us now as she is a huge help in getting the older 3 to their activites. We are looking forward to spring and warmer weather and being out and about in our new normal as a family of 6!
No comments:
Post a Comment